Watson quinellas Essendon Best and Fairest
Essendon Captain Jobe Watson has remarkably quinellad the Essendon Best and Fairest for the 2012 season. Watson polled 361 votes for first and 327 votes for second in the count. Brent…
“What did you expect when you hire a fitness manager called ‘The Weapon’?”: The Weapon
Essendon high performance manager, Dean ‘The Weapon’ Robinson, has defended himself amidst criticism that he is to blame for the Bombers’ growing injury list, claiming his self-imposed nickname was intended…
Majority of Bombers fans still believe it’s 2000: Report
The vast majority of Essendon supporters still believe it to be the year 2000, a report released yesterday by the University of Melbourne’s Centre for Unnecessary and Irrelevant Research revealed.…
Bomber fans hospitalised as club’s bubble bursts
Doctors at the Royal Victorian Eye and Ear hospital in East Melbourne are reportedly still struggling to cope with Friday night’s sudden influx of Essendon supporters after the club’s bubble burst. “On a…
Bored Bombers join race for Cloke purely to “p!ss off Eddie”
Citing general boredom and an understandable loathing for the Collingwood Football Club, a rogue member of the Essendon recruitment department met with Travis Cloke’s management yesterday “just to p!ss off…
Arrogant Bombers no-show for second time this season
Mere months after failing to turn up to a pre-season match against St Kilda in Wangaratta, the Essendon Football Club again failed to show up to the MCG on Saturday night…
Hype can win us the flag: Hird
Essendon coach James Hird his confirmed that Hype, excessive publicity and the ensuing commotion, could deliver the Bombers a flag this year. “As always, Hype’s been absolutely terrific for us…
Humble Bombers release 2012 Premiership memorabilia
Carlton coach Brett RattenEssendon coach James Hird has declared that the club is not getting ahead of itself, despite yesterday launching a comprehensive range of 2012 AFL Premiership memorabilia. “Yeah…
Fletcher dedicates ANZAC Day performance to his WWII battalion
Veteran and Essendon defender, Dustin Fletcher, has dedicated his performance during yesterday’s thrilling loss to Collingwood to the members of the regiment he fought with during World War 2. “ANZAC…
WWII rations diet malnourishes Bombers ahead of ANZAC day clash
The odds of Essendon repeating the anomaly that was their round 4 victory over Carlton tomorrow have stretched considerably after coach James Hird forced the entire playing squad onto a strict diet…
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