Adelaide residents overwhelmed by entertainment

The people of Adelaide were left feeling “totally overwhelmed” and ordered by doctors to “have a lie down”, after the city hosted two legitimate acts of entertainment this weekend.

Black Caviar recorded her 20th straight win in the Spotingbet Classic at Morphettville on Saturday, whilst on Sunday AAMI Stadium hosted a thrilling Showdown between the Crows and Power, marking the first occasion anyone from the city of churches has experienced excitement since Shane Ellen kicked 5 goals in the 1997 Grand Final.

 Local delinquent, Ryan Felon, said he felt “spoilt for choice” on Saturday as he weighed up seeing the greatest horse in modern history in the flesh, or divert to his usual weekend activities of “wall-staring and spousal abuse”.

 Life-long Adelaide resident, Anthony Bored, said he “briefly considered” attending Sunday’s Showdown, but rather chose to partake in his now daily ritual of avoiding bathing, catching the Glenelg tram and staring mindlessly at the spot Magic Mountain once stood.

 The weekend also marked the first occasion any form of caviar was available in Adelaide.