Majority of Bombers fans still believe it’s 2000: Report
The vast majority of Essendon supporters still believe it to be the year 2000, a report released yesterday by the University of Melbourne’s Centre for Unnecessary and Irrelevant Research revealed.
The AFL commissioned the report after concerned Carlton officials overheard Bombers fans discussing “how good it was to see Darren Bewick still firing in the twilight of his career” following their 10-goal loss to the Blues in last year’s elimination final.
The Essendon Football Club: A Study In Denial, conducted via a series of clinical trials at Etihad Stadium during season 2012, concluded that the consistency of delusion among Essendon supporters was most likely a subconscious defence mechanism against the “steaming pile of diseased horse faeces” that the club has quickly become.
While the report found that many Bombers fans slipped into a permanent state of denial in November 2004 when Ty Zantuck was drafted, some have shown symptoms of chronic denial since late September 2001.
“It’s so hard to pinpoint a singular cause” head researcher Dr Andrew McKay said. “They’ve just f*cked-up continually these past 11 years… but if I was to hazard a guess I’d say re-contracting Courtney Johns in 2006 was the point-of-no-return for many people.”
Padlock
August 21, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Poor old Bombers haven’t been the same since Hype went out of form in about round 12.
TheMaggot
August 21, 2012 at 5:10 pm
Love it
Kenny
August 21, 2012 at 4:56 pm
The hypocrisy of this “article” is staggering. Since 1999 Carlton has had 3 x No.1 draft picks, a double brownlow medallist, gotten rid of a double premiership coach and acheived far less than Essendon. If you count the 3 finals they won while cheating the salary cap in 2000 and 2001, Carlton has only won 4 finals in this period. Essendon has won 8, not bad for a team of useless hacks coached by a Richmond never-was that has included Ty Zantuck and Courtney Johns instead of Premiership coaches, Brownlow Medallists and No 1 draft picks. And for your information, the place where Essendon took a two year step back was hiring that bellend Knights. Having righted a fair few of those wrongs, he has got us back to an even keel. If we are not having a decent go by next year, feel free to give my club curry that we actually deserve. No doubt by then Carlton’s trophy cabinet won’t have changed and all their No. 1 draft picks will be a year older as Carlton’s premiership clock ticks well past 12…
TheMaggot
August 21, 2012 at 5:01 pm
The denial is strong with this one.
Brooksy
August 21, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Yeah Kenny, way to go! Don’t just nibble at the bait, bite down hard and run the line out as hard and as passionately as possible to get that hook in nice and deep!
Bryan
August 22, 2012 at 7:45 pm
Are youby chance Kenny Rogers?
You gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run……..
Big Julie
August 22, 2012 at 8:08 pm
What the media won’t reveal is that Matthew Allan, Scott Camporeale, Justin Murphy were all planted at Windy Hill by the secretive George Harris Society, and their legacy was seen last week. The Bombers need to retaliate by infitrating the Blues with Slattery, Melksham and The Weapon. Should bring Carlton to their knees within weeks.