“What did you expect when you hire a fitness manager called ‘The Weapon’?”: The Weapon

Essendon high performance manager, Dean ‘The Weapon’ Robinson, has defended himself amidst criticism that he is to blame for the Bombers’ growing injury list, claiming his self-imposed nickname was intended to be a warning to the club.

‘The Weapon’ conducted the entire interview from this position.

Robinson, who anointed himself ‘The Weapon’ and will only respond to that nickname, has been criticised recently for the Bombers’ high soft-tissue injury toll since he joined the club.

“I am not sure what all the confusion is about. I call myself ‘The Weapon’ because I do serious damage to the health and well-being of my players” declared ‘The Weapon’ as his bicep flex entered a fourth-straight minute.

“ What, did they think it was some form of vein and self-indulgent nickname? Who do they think ‘The Weapon’ is? ‘The Weapon’ wouldn’t do that.”

The Weapon’s comments follow unconfirmed reports that an Essendon footballer participated in  prolonged period of physical eversion without sustaining a soft-tissue injury.

*Thanks to TS for providing inspiration for this article. Please send in any ideas. We need help. 

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