Goodbye… for now.

Dear loyal reader,

For the past few years two unassuming footy tragics have supplied you with footy comedy gold on a daily basis (except for that soft patch in July 2012).

It was the stuff of self-proclaimed comedic visionaries. As revolutionary as The Footy Show in the early 90′s (albeit lacking the inherent mysoginism), it allegedly provided inspiration for Before The Game on an almost weekly basis.

But, given changing personal and professional circumstances, we’ve decided to follow the path of our comedy peers Jerry Seinfeld and Ricky Gervais and bow out while on top… that and we’re in preliminary discussions regarding optioning our intellectual property to turn this baby into Thursday night’s most progressive football comedy program.

In this regard, please send proposals for our IP to as we’d like to inject some competitive tension into our current option negotiations.  Preferred bidders should have an Australia-wide traditional & digital media distribution footprint and be able to skip the line at Boutique on Friday nights (access to drink cards will be viewed favourably).

So what better way to say goodbye (until we hit TV or our option expires) than with a farewell post so full of unwarranted praise one could be mistaken for thinking we simply re-jigged a Herald Sun ode to the still unproven Michael Hurley.

Finally, over the years, when you write Australia’s no.1 satirical AFL portal, you learn a number of things that for one reason or another, you just cannot report. But, now that we’re retiring, that doesn’t seem to matter any more, so… the following AFL players are gay… just kidding, we had to sneak in one final Simpsons reference.

But seriously before we go, we’ve copped a fair bit of flack from supporters for the way we’ve treated their clubs over the years, so here are our official retorts and views on all club supporters: Adelaide fans are just plain angry, Carlton are surprisingly good sports (for a bunch of cheats), Collingwood fans really are incredibly unintelligent (as a general rule), Essendon supporters cannot take a joke (despite their club becoming one), Freo fans are good value, women that support Geelong are incredibly attractive, ditto for Hawthorn, Melbourne fans simply abandoned all hope years ago, the sample size of North supporters wasn’t large enough to produce a statistically relevant opinion, ditto for Port, God help us all when Richmond finally reach their potential, Saints fans were just glad the scandals were fictitious for once, Swans supporters actually got it, Eagles fans are on crack and Doggies tend to live in Melbourne’s western suburbs.

So there it is. It’s been fun and we hoped you enjoyed The Maggot as much as we did writing it.


The Maggots

3 Responses to Goodbye… for now.

  1. Jesse G. Reply

    March 28, 2013 at 1:20 pm

    I’m sad to see you go. Coming from the US, where the sports blogosphere is just full of incredible, incredible writing of all varieties, you’ve been an oasis in the desert that comprises footy blogging. Anyway, thanks for all the laughs and I wish you all the best in the future.

    • TheMaggot Reply

      March 29, 2013 at 3:06 am

      Thanks for the kind words Jesse. One of us is now based in the US… so who knows? Maybe you’ll spot a familiar writing style on the Onion Sports Network one day.

  2. Nicholas Brooks Reply

    March 29, 2013 at 8:05 am

    This news has absolutely rocked my world… i have been checking back daily waiting for my 2013 fix!

    I will sincerely miss forwarding your articles to simple friends who overlook or are unable to process the word ‘satirical’ and read them as devastatingly factual.

    Thank you for your efforts boys. It has been insanely entertaining!

Leave a Reply to TheMaggot Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


* Copy this password:

* Type or paste password here:

76,156 Spam Comments Blocked so far by Spam Free Wordpress

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>