Proud Primus says loss confirms Power’s standing among AFL’s greatest abominations

Port Adelaide Football Club coach Matthew Primus heaped praise on his players last night after they surrendered a 34-point lead seven minutes into the final quarter to lose to Essendon by 7 points.

Primus said the inexplicable loss removed any doubt as to Port’s standing among the greatest abominations in AFL history.

“Everyone knew we were more than capable of consecutive 100+ point beatings” Primus said. “But there were some cynics out there who still questioned our ability to completely and utterly capitulate under pressure.”

Primus then revealed he had the Power players study hours of film of Grant Thomas-coached St Kilda sides during the week in order to learn the most efficient and effective techniques for surrendering seemingly insurmountable leads.

“It’s hard to simulate a complete lack of composure on the training track, and you never know for sure if they’ll be able to implement it on game day” said Primus.

“But it made for a really satisfying twenty minutes in the coaches box when the lads put theory into practice and lost any semblance of poise when it really mattered.”

When asked by a member of the media what was a bigger joke, his club or the fact that Essendon made the finals, Primus replied “I’ll have to get back to you on that.”